The dating struggles of gay men are unique and can be difficult to navigate at times. Open communication is key to overcoming these challenges.
Table of contents
- Self-loathing among gay people is nothing new. We’re overwhelmed by it
- What It's Like To Use Dating Apps As a Plus-Size Gay Man - VICE
- Helping Families Thrive™
- Welcome to Reddit,
Most people grappling with shame do not join extremist groups and plan to hurt people. But some do. Perhaps like former notorious s neo- Nazi street fighter Nicky Crane , who also eventually came out as gay. Talking about gay shame and self-loathing is not easy.
Self-loathing among gay people is nothing new. We’re overwhelmed by it
It flies in the face of the message of gay pride that has dominated the gay rights movement of the last 50 years. But we must talk about it. Most people wrestling with shame hurt themselves. Disproportionate numbers of LGBT people suffer with self-destructive behaviour. At the end of we lost George Michael after years of mental health and addiction struggles. A year later, last November, year-old American rapper Lil Peep died from a fentanyl overdose months after he came out as bisexual.
What It's Like To Use Dating Apps As a Plus-Size Gay Man - VICE
All in a year that saw the usual reports of unsupported LGBT teenagers killing themselves, such as a year-old in Stirling, after years of bullying, and a year-old girl whose life-support machine was turned off after doing the same. And so it goes on and on, without much awareness or enough being done to address the situation. Wider society has never cared about the children who struggle to come to terms with who they are. I was 11 when I realised I was gay and I could not cope.
I needed support and someone to talk to. But it seems perhaps the gay rights movement has been caught napping, too. It may not fit the narrative we wish to promote but there are huge numbers of people getting themselves into serious situations without enough support. But that is where the work lies. In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is 13 11 Its your typical bible belt a lot of people here arent okay with gays type of thing.
Still finishing up college, so another couple years before I can realistically move. Living in this type of area, there's no meeting men at a grocery store or anything like that, its just not gonna happen unless you wanna risk getting punched in the face by flirting with the wrong guy.
That means all gay dating in my area is done entirely online, which is both a blessing and a curse. On one hand I have gotten to talk to many guys and meet a few guys I would otherwise never had before. On the other hand, it almost always seems to go nowhere, usually we talk weeks and then it just kinda falls off and nothing ever happens. At the most we actually go on a date or two and then it just kinda stops, i'll try reaching out and get no response. Naturally, my first assumption was there must be something wrong with me, I have to be messing up somehow, either sharing too much or not enough, etc.
However after deleting these apps and rejoining months later i see that its all the same guys as before, meaning they didnt find anyone else theyre just not getting into relationships for whatever reason. I just find it so confusing, its like theyre on dating apps out of obligation or something and theyre not interested in actually finding a boyfriend.
Just to clarify when I say dating apps, I mean legit dating apps not grindr.
Helping Families Thrive™
Despite being in a similar situation have you found a partner? How do you keep on in the dating scene, I know I have to put myself out there to meet anyone but part of me wants to just give up until I can move. I know i dont need a boyfriend to validate me or anything like that but I really dont have much relationship experience, and I want to figure out what I want in a future partner. I am from northern New England and it's pretty much a desert for gay dating. I'm not that's for sure.
Welcome to Reddit,
But I find those apps allow a person to put their whole life and perspective right out front. Heck i skip over any guy who smokes an I'm sure I get skipped a bunch because I'm not the most fun person in the world.
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What you said about guys looking for the one perfect person makes so much sense. Sometimes with dating it seems like people are traded for another person like "he likes x hobby that this guy doesnt, so he's better" or "they look pretty similar but his nose is cuter", etc. So instead of actually trying to see if there's a connection people just keep switching around for someone else.
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Not that we can't have our preferences, we need to be compatible with someone but I just feel like there should be room for compromise since perfect people don't exist. At this point, I sometimes feel that guys delete the apps without deleting their profiles which is why they never respond weird optimism possibly? I also give credence to the idea that we find love when we are supposed to.
Also, some gays are shallow and most have preferences. They may not be THE reasons, but they are possible reasons. I like to believe there's a right one there for everyone too, just sure looks bleak sometimes lol. I can see some guys getting in a relationship and then deleting the app but not the profile just incase things don't work out.